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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Love of a manager

A Marketing Person’s Love Letter

Dear XYZ,
You have no idea how much ‘SWOT analysis’ I had to do to get your primary attention. I have no ‘Strength’ only ‘Weaknesses’. My ‘Threat’ was from your Father and your other boyfriends. My only initial ‘Opportunity’ was to mail you. My ‘Mission’ was to marry you. My ‘Vision’ was to get a job such that I could have achieved my objective quickly. When you started loving me, I thought our relationship was like the ‘Star’ position of ‘BCG matrix’. So, I applied ‘Growth strategy’ and started buying gifts for you. I thought our relationship would go on for years but my ‘Marketing Myopia’ was wrong. Very soon I had lack of funds in absence of a good job ( just like ‘buffer level’ in an inventory), even debt to some of my friends ( a very high ‘Debt Equity ratio’) which seemed danger to me. You also became very reluctant and annoyed towards me. You complained to your father ( poor ‘organizational behaviour’ ) and your father showed ‘Autocratic leadership style’ towards me. Instead of calling me a playboy, he should have taken a ‘360 degree feedback’ on me from my friends, parents and locality people. I tried to tell him our relationship was not materialistic ( ‘intangible Product’ ) and it was ‘Price’-less. I just wanted to ‘Promote’ our love going to ‘Places’ like Central Park once in a month but he turned a deaf ear to me.

Finally, you decided to marry somebody else who was handsome, rich. Your marriage (‘Merger’ with your life partner) took place one month before from now. Before marriage, you met me once to tell me about your changed ‘Attitude’ and I gave you only one clear-cut answer: I have no option except to ‘Diversify’ our relationship.

I guess, you are enjoying your new ‘Job’ as a housewife and your ‘Induction’ process in new environment was not affected by anybody.

Enjoy Valentine’s day with your spouse. Your ex-boyfriend, Bishnu Kumar Ganguram